If you are familiar with my story, you know that I have gone through utterly tragic battles to become a mother. From years and years of IVF’s to climbing the mountains to find the holy man with magic potion. You name it, I’ve done it…
In my first marriage there was so much focus around having a baby that eventually it just tore us apart. I lost whole lot of self-worth and confidence while trying to get pregnant. I found my infertility as guilt, inadequacy and failure.
I ended up leaving Australia and moved back to Finland. I started my life from the scratch …and as I look back, I feel solely gratitude and acceptance for the prior. I understand why it turned out as it did.
I turned 40 this year and as I step into the next chapter of my life, I feel confident and open. My old wounds have been healing and I can finally surrender to the beauty of presence. I feel like I have it all – Love, Family, Home, Friends, Yoga – I am lucky and incredibly happy. Getting married in a month to love of my life, becoming a step-mom to a beautiful girl. Watching my adorable nieces and nephews grow up.
Not raising a child of my own, but helping to bring up wonderful little souls in my life.
For years I was bombarded with the social expectations and illusions of not fulfilling my job as a woman without having a biological child. I was haunted by the myth of the motherhood as “motherhood” is considered the primary role for woman.
In the depths of these illusions I had forgotten what motherhood actually means.
Motherhood isn’t a fertile womb. It’s not perfection nor purity, but rather warmth, attendance, empathy, silent tears and imperfections. There is no defined look or way. No rights and wrongs.
Motherhood is in all of us. In every woman!
It took me a long time to embrace the fact that in this lifetime I will be a my own version of mother.
When I snuggle up in a bed with my dog, I’m a mother. When I clean the eyes of the stray kittens I found in a jungle, I’m a mother. When I pick up a litter to protect our earth, hug a tree or water my plants, I’m a mother. When I comfort a distressed person, I’m a mother. When I guide my students in a meditation with a soft and caring voice, I’m a mother.
I’m a mother in the way I was meant to be.
Once a yoga student who had heard about my story came to me after class. She hugged me and whispered “You are mother to all of us. You do know that?”.
I keep returning to these words often.
Being childless doesn’t mean you’re not a mother, it means that you end up nurturing and providing guidance a bit differently. There are so many faces to motherhood. There are mothers with child, there are mothers who has lost their baby. There are mothers who have adopted a baby or mothers who take care of other peoples children. There is exactly as many embodiment’s of motherhood as there are women.
There is no childless women, mostly mothers without portfolios …Mothers at heart 💖
Love & Light
If you ask pretty much anyone who knows me to describe what I’m like, you’d possibly get an answer like “happy person” or a “contagiously goofy smiler”. This is something that I’ve heard about myself since I was little, and I couldn’t ask for a lovelier description. I might not be the prettiest duckling in the row and I might have few lines in the corners of my eyes, permanent marks of my happiness, but what the hell? If my wrinkles come from smiling in the sun, than I don’t care.
Smile, the universal symbol of happiness, the sign of infinite love in our hearts!
I love smiling! I love that moment when I’m looking into someone’s eyes and they smile back at me. I love the sense of balance that smiling gives me. I honestly believe it’s the most powerful, yet most underrated ability we possess. And that most of us don’t even realise what we can achieve by smiling more often.
If you’ve been to my yoga classes, you know that I equally remind you guys about the importance of breathing and the importance of smiling. Even when your limbs are shaking in a warrior pose, I keep telling you to smile, to trick the brain to think you’re enjoying the moment. The power of smile!
Don’t believe me? Try it out. Just close your eyes for a second, you might feel neutral right now, but bring a smile to your face, maybe try visualising someone/something that makes you smile. Can you feel it? That lovely fuzzy feeling in the bottom of your belly rising. Can you feel the energy change as you turn the corners of your mouth upwards? Still not feeling it? Well, go to a mirror and look at yourself, and smile! Don’t force the smile, but allow it to arise, feeling the cheeks rise and the eyes smile too. Maybe wink to yourself and whisper ” You are spectacular”. Can you feel it now?
Smile? Hot or Not?
Sadly, I have heard and read few times now, that if you want to look younger you should stop smiling. If you want to seem more successful or physically imposing don’t expose those pearly whites. And to avoid horrible photos, you shouldn’t smile, as they bring out all the wrinkles! I curse in chosen situations… but WTF! Absolute bollocks! I think that a frowny face just doesn’t suit anyone. Smile just generally makes people look more attractive, and even research has proven that we find others more attractive when they are wearing a smile. They are more approachable, forgivable, friendly and trustworthy.
Smile to Feel Good!
Striking a smile makes you feel better! Studies show that smiling releases serotonin – a neurotransmitter that produces feelings of happiness and wellbeing. One smile stimulates the human brain the same amount as eating up to 2000 bars of chocolate, how cool is that? “Smile and you feel happy, you feel happy and you smile!” Even when you’re not feeling great, fake it till you make it, try smiling, genuinely, and see how you feel! While at home, walking around or standing in line, I tend to smile, doing my own little research. Observing what happens within me when I’m smiling regardless if I’m feeling happy or down, and also observing how people react to me when they walk by. I highly recommend it. No matter what’s going on in your life, smile! So often we battle through our days, struggling, waiting for something to happen to cheer us up, forgetting that we are our own cheerleaders.
Smile Smile Smile!
Tap into your superpower now, make yourself and the people around you feel better. Get out there groover and smile your socks off! Smile at yourself, smile at others, lovers and strangers! Do whatever makes your soul sing and do it with a smile on your face!
Love and light
In this world of reality TV, Facebook and high tech, we have seem to lost ourselves. We are as plugged to the system as our Apple products and the effect of all of these electromagnetic waves on our body might cause sleeping problems, depression and sickness.
75 percent of our body is water and you probably know how well water and technology works together? Not well, and I speak from experience after several times dropping my phone into ocean.
And the social media… It seems to be pointless to go for a walk on a beach without posting a pick on Instagram. And this is one is one of my downfalls, I’m overly visual person and a total photo-maniac! Since I was a little girl, I have loved pictures, capturing them and looking at them. People who know me, knows that I might be a little too enthusiastic. How many ” Arghh, not again!” have I heard my husband say when I pass him the camera…
Even though I love photography and my pics, it still slightly worries me, that I might be too fanatical about the “beauty of the moments”, and getting that “Click” on way to often.
So I really need to start using my other senses among the visual sense, and maybe occasionally, use my inner camera instead of the one designed by Nikon.
Among my other quirky features, I absolutely love nature!
I would rather sit on a sand and gaze on ocean for several hours than watch that crap, that tv has to offer us.
We actually just spent 3 days at my mates summer cottage watching at the sea. For hours and hours in absolute silence observing the beauty of scenery. No TV’s, phones or laptops. The people passing by with boats probably thought we were dead.
The reason why we feel so in peace in nature is because this is where we originally came from. We have the same energy and that’s why I need to get to the nature, to remind myself that I’m part of this beautiful flow and something bigger.
These are my own little reminders and tips, how to get more grounded, and connected with your senses, and at the same time heal your body and mind.
I’m not telling you have to go hug trees, even though, let me tell you this, that hugging a tree for half a minute can pack you with earthly energy and leave you feeling tranquil and breezy.
Starting with the sense of smell:
Think, how often you actually realise what kind of air you breathe? What kind of smells are in the air, what memories the smells bring you? The salty sea air, the fresh air in a green lush forest or the smell of freshly cut grass.
I’m so sentimental, that I can end up having the greatest day, after stepping outside in the morning and taking a lungful of fresh air after the rain has hydrated the earth or when I pass a lilac bush on a sunny spring morning. These are the smells that make my soul sing. It’s scientifically proven that sensory perception in nature eliminates the stress and I think thousands of years old aromatherapy is an excellent example of that.
The sense of sight:
Slow down and actually watch the nature, even stop if you have the time. Amaze the power of the ocean, look at the golden sun rays shining through the leaves or admire all the shades of blue at the sky.
Sunsets are my favourite, and living on a west coast I’m blessed by the prettiest sunsets the nature has to offer. And there is no better way to enjoy the beauty of life than crabbing a blanket and the hand of your loved one, and head down to the beach and gaze on that greatest art show nature has to offer.
The sense of touch:
My ultimate pleasure is to walk on a beach with my legs down to my ankle in the water. I can walk for miles, and enjoy every step of it, with the waves gently stroking my feet… Even thinking of it, gives me butterflies in my belly.
The touch of nature. The feeling when grass is tickles the souls of my feet while the sun warms my body. The support of a soft sand after a swim in an ocean. The feeling of raindrops on my skin. It is nearly impossible to not be connected to the earth in situations like these… It clears your head and gives you the ultimate zen.
The sense of hearing:
Who wouldn’t love the sound of rain on a roof top, while snuggling under the covers? I can literally feel it washing away my troubles.
Give yourself a break from all the noise. The voice of traffic, music or talk.
Leave your earphones home, and sooth your senses with the singing of the birds, with the sound of the waves crashing and the roar of the wind in the tree tops.
I know it sounds bit out of the content, but if you live in a city and you’re to busy to head out, a nice option is to listen some “nature sound” tracks on YouTube. It’s not the same, but it still has a calming impact on your stress levels.
The sense of taste:
Remember when you were a kid and you would run around forest tasting all the different plants and berries? If not, than I just found a reason for my tripping behaviour.
Anyways, find your inner hunter and head to the nature to get a taste of it. What’s better way to shut our thoughts and stay present?
Crab an apple or some berries and find out if their sour or not, or chew on a root of a hay. Go fishing, or go mushroom picking, than build a fire, safely, and cook yourself a dinner. In case if your a proper city person, try this version. Head to the farmers market, pick some veggies and berries, get a disposable grill, head to the park, and have a nice picnic.
So this are my thoughts for today. Remember that we are not designed to sit in the corner offices or zone out for hours in front of TV. The serene landscape picture on our screensaver just isn’t enough. So go to wilderness and go wild!
Love life, love Mother Earth and disconnect everything but your heart and senses!