My Story

It’s 29th of March, 2015.
I’m sitting on a plane to Singapore, bored as can be and I have an epiphany…
I shall start a blog! I don’t want to call it a blog as I’m not your typical blogger. 
I’m as spontaneous as a thunder and as weird as a Siberian summer. 
I write this as my diary, or maybe just as some funny and weird scribbles of life, yoga, health, hardships and the things that I’m grateful for…
 All I know is, that someone once said that its healthy to write about your thoughts and that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m going to be healthy! 
 If someone can find something helpful, or motivating, or maybe just even a laughter from my obviously disturbed sense of humour than thats great 🙂


The different faces of Motherhood


If you are familiar with my story, you know that I have gone through utterly tragic battles to become a mother. From years and years of IVF’s to climbing the mountains to find the holy man with magic potion. You name it, I’ve done it…

In my first marriage there was so much focus around having a baby that eventually it just tore us apart. I lost whole lot of self-worth and confidence while trying to get pregnant. I found my infertility as guilt, inadequacy and failure.

I ended up leaving Australia and moved back to Finland. I started my life from the scratch …and as I look back, I feel solely gratitude and acceptance for the prior. I understand why it turned out as it did.

I turned 40 this year and as I step into the next chapter of my life, I feel confident and open. My old wounds have been healing and I can finally surrender to the beauty of presence. I feel like I have it all – Love, Family, Home, Friends, Yoga – I am lucky and incredibly happy. Getting married in a month to love of my life, becoming a step-mom to a beautiful girl. Watching my adorable nieces and nephews grow up.

Not raising a child of my own, but helping to bring up wonderful little souls in my life.

For years I was bombarded with the social expectations and illusions of not fulfilling my job as a woman without having a biological child. I was haunted by the myth of the motherhood as “motherhood” is considered the primary role for woman.

In the depths of these illusions I had forgotten what motherhood actually means.

Motherhood isn’t a fertile womb. It’s not perfection nor purity, but rather warmth, attendance, empathy, silent tears and imperfections. There is no defined look or way. No rights and wrongs.

Motherhood is in all of us. In every woman!

It took me a long time to embrace the fact that in this lifetime I will be a my own version of mother.

When I snuggle up in a bed with my dog, I’m a mother. When I clean the eyes of the stray kittens I found in a jungle, I’m a mother. When I pick up a litter to protect our earth, hug a tree or water my plants, I’m a mother. When I comfort a distressed person, I’m a mother. When I guide my students in a meditation with a soft and caring voice, I’m a mother.

I’m a mother in the way I was meant to be.

Once a yoga student who had heard about my story came to me after class. She hugged me and whispered “You are mother to all of us. You do know that?”.

I keep returning to these words often.

Being childless doesn’t mean you’re not a mother, it means that you end up nurturing and providing guidance a bit differently. There are so many faces to motherhood. There are mothers with child, there are mothers who has lost their baby. There are mothers who have adopted a baby or mothers who take care of other peoples children. There is exactly as many embodiment’s of motherhood as there are women.

There is no childless women, mostly mothers without portfolios …Mothers at heart 💖

Love & Light



Join me in a 3-Day Full Body Cleanse

“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison”
Summer, winter, spring or autumn, our body needs an occasional cleanse.
As we give our homes a proper spring clean every year, or as my husband would correct me – every day – cause I’m slightly obsessed with tidiness. But “clean home, clean mind” is one of my mantras.
Why shouldn’t we give ourselves a proper cleanse once in a while? No duster or vacuum-cleaner needed, just some willpower and lots of fluids.
Keep in my mind, it’s not a diet, even though you might loose a little weight. It’s so much more. It will bring you clarity of mind and give you a jump-start to a healthy lifestyle. No wonder fasting was the rituals of great man like Gandhi, Socrates and Plato.
If you suffer from headaches, sugar cravings, skin or digestion problems, bloating or anxiety, the case is that you might suffer from build-up of toxicity. After your 3-day cleanse your body feels energised, rejuvenated and grateful for the rest from digestion as your organs haven’t been breaking down food and possible toxins.
Just a little warning here, do not detox if your pregnant or breast feeding.
First of all, choose a time for your cleanse, try to pick a weekend or days that don’t have lots of program or parties in them. Plan a daily schedule, plan your “meals” and ditch all the things that you grave. For me these would be caffeine, pasta and cupcakes.
Next 3 days prepare to go organic (if you’re already not). Say “bye bye” to meat, grains, sugar, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, saturated fats and welcome to your life all the amazing, funky-tasting, super juices and smoothies. And by juices I don’t mean the dodgy, chemically sweetened stuff in the cardboard boxes.
It’s only 3 days, so go all the way. Explore the amazing world of juices, teas and all different type of organically flavoured waters.
Here’s mine daily routines, that I would highly recommend for the time of cleanse:
Mornings are my favourite part of day, and here’s my morning rituals that I recommend to stuck with on your body cleanse… And why not after.
Start your morning ALWAYS with a lemon water. A glass of warm water with half of lemon! It’s a magic drink that speeds up your digestion, it’s packed with antioxidants, it’s an excellent source of vitamin C, it flushes the toxins and strengthens the liver. These are only the few benefits of lemon water…
Meditate! Stress loves to ruin our body and mind, and the best way to reduce the stress is to get your Om on!
Rock your mental health and get rid off anxiety and tension. Meditation is like the detox for your mind and I bet you will fall in love with the benefits of mediation and your new mellow lifestyle.
Find a nice calm spot, close your eyes, choose a mantra that you repeat to yourself or not. Main thing is to shut the monkey mind for 5 minutes or longer if you’re a “pro-meditator” an breathe.
Brush your skin!  Skin brushing is the best way to detoxify your skin from dead cells, reduce cellulite and support circulation. Have a shower after that, and finish the shower with a half minute cold water shower, it will work wonders on your blood circulation. Moisturise your body with coconut oil, that hydrates your skin, leaving it feeling nourished and smooth. Coconut oil also protects your skin from harmful sun rays. I’m an absolute addict for coconut oil. My Ayurvedic doctor in India recommended it for my dry joints and I haven’t found a better remedy yet.
Open your body with a nice series of sun salutations!
5 sun salutations will cost you no time, but gives you energy, detoxifies you and opens your heart for a new day!
Here’s a guided video for sun salutation:
For next 3 days stay away from solid food,
Drink, drink, drink! Try to drink 3 litres of liquids daily. My best trick to remember how much to drink water daily, is to drink a litre for 20 kilos of your body weight.
If the regular water starts to annoy you, make it special by adding herbs, lime, watermelon, etc. My absolute favourite is basilica and cucumber or mint water.
Swap your coffee to a green tea or to a nice cleansing dandelion or echinacea tea. As an absolute tea-addict, I’m more than overwhelmed with happiness, that the options on tea market are so enormous. My absolute favourite is Matcha Green Tea, one cup is the same as 30 cups of normal green tea in antioxidants. Also I’m addicted to organic green rooibos tea, that is backed with vitamins, high in minerals and contains huge array of antioxidants.
Juicing offers some incredible health benefits and it’s great way to get all the vegetables and fruits to your diet.
After noticing how much money I spend on fresh juices, I had to get a juicer myself. I love it! Nothing better than starting a day with a refreshing ginger-carrot-orange juice! Yummy!
Exercise! It makes you feel awesome and it starts a natural detoxification process in your body. It’s good to take it a bit slower while your detoxing, as you don’t have that much energy. I’ve made myself a fitness routine for the time of cleanse, and it’s pretty much something like this:
Before the breakfast 5 sun salutations and some cardio to sweat out the toxins, anything that gets that heart rate up, from jumping jacks, to running up the stairs. A walk in a fresh air with my doggy and in the evening a relaxing one hour yoga session.
While practising yoga, try to do as much twist as possible, as they are excellent poses when it comes to getting those toxins moving.
When you’re tired you don’t take proper care of yourself, so get at least 7 hour sleep every night. Don’t think of a good night sleep as a luxury, but rather as a necessity. If  possible, go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 6 am. That way you are synced with universe and you feel way energetic and better. For me that’s a mission, as I’m pretty sure I was a bat in my previous life. I have a slightly messed up rhythm.
And my favourite part of all this detox insanity… have a massage! It’s the best way to get those toxins moving, but remember to flush them out with plenty of water after your pampering session.
Here’s some of my favourite detoxing juices, but feel free to mix your own:
Juice 1: beetroot, kale, apple, ginger, celery, lemon
Juice 2: spinach, green apple, pear, cucumber, kale
Juice 3: orange, carrot, ginger,
Juice 4: grapefruit, raspberries mint
Juice 5: cucumber, pineapple, lemon, coconut water
If possible, try to use organic fruits and vegetables and remember the thumb rule, if you eat the outside or the peel of the fruit or veggie, go with organic. For example, apples, strawberries, tomatoes, capsicum.
Whenever you feel like you want to chew your arm off, don’t! Have a refreshing lemon water, coconut water or wheat crass shot instead. I can promise you that the shot will taste a little peculiar, but it’s definitely better than a life with a half chewed limb…
And trust me, if you stick with this, after 3 days you will thank yourself.
When you’re done with your full body cleanse, give yourself a nice tap on back and if possible don’t go back to ruin that beautiful body of yours with all the chemically loaded foods and soft drinks. Every single time you eat, you get to choose, will you hurt your body or you nourish your body. Try to stay as organic as possible and pamper your organs on every meal with these lovely super-foods like salmon, avocado, nuts, spinach, blueberries, etc. the list goes on forever. Remember, that you don’t have to eat less, you just need to eat right.
Try to give up sugar and flour, as they are packed with toxins and are extremely harmful for you. I know it’s hard, as I could basically live on pasta and pizza… But I must say that I also love brown rice and at the moment I’m absolutely addicted to organic gluten free or wholemeal spelt spaghetti.
I must say that I do enjoy a juicy steak on my wedding anniversary or the most delicious reindeer steak made by my good friend, but I try to avoid meat as much as all the diseases that it exposures my body to. It doesn’t contain any vitamins or minerals, and no wonder vegetarians visits hospitals 22% less then the meat eaters. So try to avoid meat, if it’s not possible to go totally vegetarian, stick with fish and skinless chicken. And if that’s to hard, cut down the meat eating into 3 times a week.
Also, try to avoid the excessive use of caffeine and alcohol. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy a drink, or a two, or a five occasionally, but having a drink every night of a week will build up those toxins in your body pretty fast.
And last but not least, stay away from the packaged foods. Even if it says “weight watchers” on top, doesn’t mean it’s healthy. If it’s in package, it’s filled with some sort of chemicals or preservatives.
If possible, try to make the “full body cleanse” part of your life. Once a month, when you know you’re gonna stay at home and have nothing to do, instead of charging to McDonald’s drive-in, take a step to become healthier, fitter and stronger you.
I wish you the most beautiful, refreshing and cleansing days, whether you decide to carry on with this or not.