The different faces of Motherhood

 

If you are familiar with my story, you know that I have gone through utterly tragic battles to become a mother. From years and years of IVF’s to climbing the mountains to find the holy man with magic potion. You name it, I’ve done it…

In my first marriage there was so much focus around having a baby that eventually it just tore us apart. I lost whole lot of self-worth and confidence while trying to get pregnant. I found my infertility as guilt, inadequacy and failure.

I ended up leaving Australia and moved back to Finland. I started my life from the scratch …and as I look back, I feel solely gratitude and acceptance for the prior. I understand why it turned out as it did.

I turned 40 this year and as I step into the next chapter of my life, I feel confident and open. My old wounds have been healing and I can finally surrender to the beauty of presence. I feel like I have it all – Love, Family, Home, Friends, Yoga – I am lucky and incredibly happy. Getting married in a month to love of my life, becoming a step-mom to a beautiful girl. Watching my adorable nieces and nephews grow up.

Not raising a child of my own, but helping to bring up wonderful little souls in my life.

For years I was bombarded with the social expectations and illusions of not fulfilling my job as a woman without having a biological child. I was haunted by the myth of the motherhood as “motherhood” is considered the primary role for woman.

In the depths of these illusions I had forgotten what motherhood actually means.

Motherhood isn’t a fertile womb. It’s not perfection nor purity, but rather warmth, attendance, empathy, silent tears and imperfections. There is no defined look or way. No rights and wrongs.

Motherhood is in all of us. In every woman!

It took me a long time to embrace the fact that in this lifetime I will be a my own version of mother.

When I snuggle up in a bed with my dog, I’m a mother. When I clean the eyes of the stray kittens I found in a jungle, I’m a mother. When I pick up a litter to protect our earth, hug a tree or water my plants, I’m a mother. When I comfort a distressed person, I’m a mother. When I guide my students in a meditation with a soft and caring voice, I’m a mother.

I’m a mother in the way I was meant to be.

Once a yoga student who had heard about my story came to me after class. She hugged me and whispered “You are mother to all of us. You do know that?”.

I keep returning to these words often.

Being childless doesn’t mean you’re not a mother, it means that you end up nurturing and providing guidance a bit differently. There are so many faces to motherhood. There are mothers with child, there are mothers who has lost their baby. There are mothers who have adopted a baby or mothers who take care of other peoples children. There is exactly as many embodiment’s of motherhood as there are women.

There is no childless women, mostly mothers without portfolios …Mothers at heart 💖

Love & Light

Diana

 

4 Comments

  1. That article should be shared worldwide as you’ve discovered the perfect words for a truth that many couldn’t find or understand. You’ve worked through your struggle, defined it and got the answers to the questions of soooo many women that have struggled with this and still do. Beautifully written and completely “right”.
    You’ll help many women with those words right there.
    I’m so happy that you have found your place in this world, your loves, your life, your understanding of the past.
    Now you can continue to move forward, love your life, with no regrets as the past experiences has made you who you are today. And that’s a very beautiful soul that will enjoy a very beautiful life.
    Love you ☺️☯️🌻

    Like

  2. Hi Dia,
    I used to do your Moon Flow class in Jindalee…and it was (in part) my struggle with IVF that brought me to yoga in the first place.
    I never knew you were experiencing something similar – so thank you for sharing. Your story has really touched me…especially when you describe what being a mother means.

    After an unsuccessful IVF treatment, it has taken me a few years to realise that having a baby (or even getting pregnant) doesn’t define me. And your words are so true- its the pressure from society and the beliefs we place on ourselves that create disharmony. And I am enough regardless of whether I choose to have child or not.

    Thank you for such a beautiful share and for your courage 💖

    Like

    1. Dear Kate

      Your reply really touched my soul ❤️
      And isn’t it wonderful that when we discuss our heartbreaking challenges, we often notice that there’s so many in our close circle struggling with the same challenges.

      I’m so proud of you how you have owned your troubles and turned them into your strength.

      Missing our moon moments in Jindalee.

      Lots of love from Finland 💕

      Like

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