"We know we are in Dharma when we cannot think of anything else we would rather be doing with our life." —David Simon
Arghh, this recovery time from operation, and bed rest has got me thinking, how incredibly much I miss teaching my yoga classes. I miss my Dharma. It's a weird feeling, like missing a limb …like I'm incomplete.
Back in my early twenties, I had it all figured out… Partying was my Dharma, and I wasn't suppose to live to see my golden years, I mean my thirties… So simple. But then the bloody hangovers arrived, and I suddenly figured it out… There's gotta be something more? What is the purpose of all this? Why do I keep surviving these insane hangovers?
Like any social rebel without a fear of death, I thought it would be just best for me to reside to India for a while. I started to hopelessly ramble on that pathless path to find the unknown. There was still bit partying, obviously I couldn't ditch that old Dharma so quickly and I was living half of the time in Goa, with lifetime hippies. But slowly my eyes started to open, mostly the third eye, and I could actually see my purpose a bit more clearly. Every day since that journey, I started to get closer and closer to my real Dharma.
It took years though. Finding one's Dharma is unfortunately not that easy… At least not as easy as it was for Greg (inside joke for all the "Dharma & Greg" fans). I was working in bars, hospitals, even as a sales girl in a fashion boutique, had fun with my friends, and I was happy, but I still felt that there was something missing. I never felt quite myself at any of the past careers I have held. I also never felt that what I was doing was making some sort of difference in this world.
My life, as I knew it, ended as I turned thirty. Complete flip-flop. I met my husband on one of my worldly adventures, moved from Finland to Australia and started my life from complete scratch. I had occasional panic attacks, freaking out about what am I going to do next. I'm living in Australia, in a country where every creature is pretty much lethal. I didn't know anyone, and my husband worked as FIFO, so I barely saw him. It took me ages to get confident, actually it took me ages to lift up the toilet seat without a mop, because I was sure that the crocodiles are plotting my murder in the plumbing.
That was the time when I decided to shed my paranoias and turn to my lifelong love, yoga. I really added some serious Asana practise to my everyday life. After I noticed how much confidence and calmness it provided me with, I pretty much lived on my mat.
There has been so many dreams and goals in my life, but deep inside I always wanted to be a yoga teacher. I just knew that it would be something that I would do with such passion and dedication. I started teaching close friends and family, and I loved every second of it.
I was on my second journey to India – this time already on the path to my true Dharma – at the yoga teacher training. One day my teacher pulled me aside, and asked me to sit down with him away from all the hustle and bustle of school. He was a highly respected guru, and he didn't spend much time chatting with students on the park benches, so I felt really humbled. He looked into my eyes, and said that my Dharma is to bring happiness to people's lives, to make them smile.
I was overwhelmed with happiness, cause I knew it already. I have had so many different interests, I have had my struggles with finding the right path. But deep inside under all my desires, there has always been that true calling. This force has constantly pulled me toward the right direction. My Dharma is to be a yoga teacher, I know it's not the path to financial riches, but it's my path. A path that gives me so much more than money could ever give. It is the honest joy that gives me the ultimate fulfillment, the spiritual high and the true happiness. Just to see someone smile after a yoga class or hear someone say that they have been looking all week forward to the class. And it's not only about the cheerful happiness, there is also that beautiful silent pleasure that comes from doing what you're suppose to do. Living your Dharma might not feel super awesome every single second – as with everything, there is up's and down's – but it will always feel right. Cause it's your purpose in life.
Now, bear in mind, that Dharma isn't a desire. Being a lottery winner cannot be your Dharma (I'm so sorry my lovely husband, don't hate me)… Dharma isn't only a sanskrit word for a job or career, it's our true nature and if we are lucky we can manifest our dharma in our career paths. And don't get me wrong here, the career paths aren't the only places to live our Dharma. Maybe your dharma is to be a mother or a father, maybe you are an activist or a healer, buddhist monk…
You might be lucky and know the day you arrive to this planet what you're supposed to do with your life, what's your meaning. My twin sister knew her Dharma before she could even speak. Running after me with a sharp comb and scissors. We always knew… she's going to be either a hairstylist or an assassin. Now, she is not on the "most wanted" list yet, but she is an owner of a stunning beauty salon back in Helsinki. Living her Dharma, making people beautiful.
But for most of us, finding our Dharma can be a b*tch! We might die before we find out our purpose. But don't freak out, there is ways that you can actually do some self studies, and start looking for your path in life.
I know, with the economy nowadays, it's often difficult to live your Dharma, even if you know what it is. There is bills, bills and more bills. But we have the choice, we don't have to give up everything and rush to fulfill our Dharmas, we can take tiny baby steps, we can dedicate a day in a week to slowly start to build up our Dharma, nothing happens overnight. Most importantly don't get stuck in your past life, if you feel that nothing has purpose. Take the step, only you can make the change and only you can discover your Dharma! And don't worry if you make mistakes, and you fail, we all do. People will offer their opinions on what your purpose in life is. Some will criticize you, some will judge you and some won't even care or understand. Remember that only you know what is best for your life. You need to figure out the meaning of your own life and how you want to live it. Stand your ground, don't settle and eventually Universe will throw you an opportunity that serves your Dharma. Take the risk, try something new and make the change. As long as you stay true to yourself, you cannot go wrong!
You might want to ask yourself these couple of questions and write down the answers, while contemplating your Dharma:
- What were you doing when you recall having the most fun?
- What are your fondest memories?
- Which people do you admire most and why?
- How would you live differently if you knew your days were numbered?
Love and Light,