Finding miracles amongst the struggle


Today I’m not gonna write about something delightful, like unicorns eating cotton candy or surfing mermaids. Instead I’m going to write about sadness and how to rise back on your feet, when life has knocked you down.

“Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.” – Kahlil Gibran

I have been to hell and back during the past months and someone smart once said that writing about your struggles helps. So I’m gonna open an ice-cream tub and pour my heart out….

We all have these seasons in life, when nothing goes right and we tend to hit the rock bottom. Well my past months have been falling down to rock bottom, but my rock bottom has been filled with sharp glass and hungry alligators…

So I’ll just start with a little update. Me and my husband have been trying to start a family for past four years, so there has been a fair bit of heartache once a month, there has been treatments by modern medical science, about five different world famous alternative healers, some “witches”, tibetan monks, stones, oils, needles, etc.

You name it, I’ve done it…

It has been a struggle that I don’t go a day without thinking about.

I’ve had so many failed treatments, IUI’s IVF’s,  hardcore medication, surgeries and more medication.

So basically I have been the punching bag of the universe, literally. It’s hard to believe that I’m not, after you read this.

For the past five months I’ve been through two IVF treatments and one FET treatment. Back in my home country, Estonia, where I was born. Yeah, it has been fun time! The first one started out just fine. I followed the program, loyally, stabbing myself daily with needles straight into my belly daily, as we IVF patients do… eggs were growing, everything looked good, My husband flew over from Australia, where we currently live, to do his bit in a cup, and then started the waiting game, two weeks of praying, chanting and hoping it will work out.. As my husband had to fly back to work, I stayed in Estonia with my mom, visiting every temple, church and monastery we could, begging for a good luck. When the phone call from the hospital finally came, with, yet again, devastating news: ” Sorry, the results are negative”… My  heart exploded into millions of pieces, like so many times before, I couldn’t breath and my mom was just holding me, like the times before, when I have had these horrible news…

Well, no can do… It was time to clue the heart back together, they got seven eggs out, used three, so I still had four embryos in the freezer waiting for the next ovulation to happen and that’s just less than couple of weeks away. It will work this time!

So I started to get all excited for the  FET procedure (frozen embryo transfer). Only couple of days to go… I shot the final progesterone injections to my belly and I was full of willpower and determination …But then I receive an email…. an email!?! Not a phone call, but an email, saying, “We deeply apologise, but there seems to be a problem, we cannot locate your embryos.” Well, ain’t that nice, it’s not like they’re teenagers on a spring holiday, what the hell do you mean, you cannot locate my embryos?! Did you try the bar next door? Did you look under the bed? I don’t get it…

At the end, the hospital game up with a reply, “maybe we didn’t get so many…” Well, I definitely paid them to freeze my four embryos, and I had all the documents to prove it, and two days ago they still had them..? After contacting all the top doctors and lawyers, they advised me to give up the fight, as there has never been a single person in this country, that has won a fight against the government hospital.

I was finished, I was over it and I didn’t have an inch of faith left in my body. But then my husband called and surprised me  with the best news. He had decided that we are going to take the IVF treatment in the most greatest private hospital, the leading fertility hospital in pretty much all of Scandinavia… This place logically charged about four times as much as the government hospital, but you know, what the hell, it’s just money, we can always slap another dept on top of our all exciting IVF depts! And this place is the best, everybody kept telling me, if it’s ever gonna happen, it will happen in this magical marble floored, crystal chandeliered palace, where the gold-plated storks sing on your bedside when you’re giving birth.

Bring it on! I was psyched, yet again! I started the treatments by myself, as my husband had to stay at work back in Australia. But about two weeks into treatments, he flew over to get his part done, froze the sperm for my eggs, and flew back to work. Note. flights 5000 aussie dollars for couple of days in Estonia… But, that’s what we had to do. We went all out  on this russian roulette!

After hundreds of different injections, meds, tens of  hours of bus trips to the hospital, finally arrived the morning of the first operation day. The eggs were coming out! Then they would be fertilized with my husbands sperm, grown in lab for couple of days and popped back in as embryos.

This time I had to go to hospital all by myself. Usually my mom would join me on these delightful road trips, but this time she couldn’t get any time off from work. She has been my biggest cornerstone, amongst my husband, when it comes to overcome these treatments. So there I was… lying on my fancy-pancy luxurious private hospital room, with the pink walls, in a lotus position, chanting my mantra ” Everything will be fine”. Knock on the door interrupted my nervous meditation, and enters my doctor, also known as the head of this fancy clinic. He nervously browses through my hospital papers, and announces: “There might be a problem..” All I could think of was, “WTF! Why, Universe, Why?!”,  I thought that maybe the operation is going to be late and I’m going to have to spend the night at the hospital. But he continued, “I really don’t know how this is possible, but seems like we have lost your husband’s sperm…”. “lost my husbands sperm?”, I screamed. At this point millions of thoughts went through my head, what if they have used my husband’s sperm to accidentally fertilize some other ladies eggs? What am I going to tell everyone? what? what? what? At this point I felt like someone had punched me to my face and then thrown me off the cliff into a cockroach nest! I used every single estonian curse word that I had learnt from my not-so-well-behaved-sailor-grandfather! I cried and cried till I was dehydrated.  I yelled and screamed for two hours straight, while my husband did exactly the same on the phone all the way from Australia. All I can remember from that moment was the doctors vein on his forehead pumping ridiculously fast.

Well, eventually I settled down, and so did that doctors disturbing vein. The sperm was gone, there was nothing we could do about it. My heart was completely broken, as I was still sobbing my eyes out, while transferred into the operation room… to collect my perfectly developed eggs, and freeze them. Coming out of the anesthesia, the first thing I did, was cried. The “full-of-faith, post-operation” momentum had turned into hopelessness, fear and fury.

So one might be right to wonder, if the whole universe is working against her, when doctor apologises for errors in my treatment, that never have been done during his career. Or in a separate case, hospital apologising for unforgettable mistakes, that only happen once in a lifetime. I’d say unforgivable, but I’m a firm believer in forgiveness.

So what makes me so special to universe,that it constantly yearns to conspire against me or shower me in these disappointments?

My mum keeps telling me that these things keep happening to me cause I’m so strong. Universe wouldn’t put a weak person into situations like mine. But it doesn’t seem fair. Do I really deserve all these horrible experiences, just because I’m strong enough to handle the pain?

I’m usually the happiest person ever. I love life. I’m overly sentimental, passionate and blown away about everything. Seriously, like I mean everything. Every sunset is the prettiest sunset I’ve ever seen, and every ice-cream is the best ice cream I ever eaten. And if there is something that I don’t like, I’ll say “hmmm, well this is a little different” and carry on.

And I have been trying to be so positive during this past months, because that’s who I am. Even when it’s been so hard, I’ve pulled a smile and pretend everything is ok. I guess it’s my survival mechanism. But today,  my smile was wiped away, with a mental slap.

Later when I left the hospital, I kept running into the kindest persons. And somehow every one of those strangers brought out the best of me and made me notice how amazing life really is. A taxi driver who pulled me into the conversation about how stunning our country is, even though it’s struggling in financial crises. A lost tourist, who was so happy and relieved when I directed her on a right path and told her about all the cool things to do in our city.

All of this made me realise, that even when I’ve just faced the worst news, there is so much beauty, and even there’s no guarantee that life works out as I hope it would, there’s still reasons to smile and be happy. I just need to keep my eyes on that sunshine that arrives after the storm.

It’s so easy to confuse the path with the destination, so I need to trust that this struggle is part of a bigger process. I must trust that no matter how hopeless things seem, as long as I’m strong and push forward, I will make it and I will get what I want.

Later on the day, I started to wonder… Maybe the universe isn’t punishing me, but merely trying to tell me something. I still have the most my husband, awesome family, wonderful friends, beautiful home, exciting travels, adventures and a job that I love. Sun is still shining and flowers are still blooming.

I do have the best support network a girl can ask for. And it’s so import to have people who care and run to comfort you, when you’re waving that flare down at your rock bottom.

I’ve been so buried into my troubles, that I’ve actually forgotten how incredibly lucky I am.

I’m starting to realize that I’m not that special. Because the universe isn’t trying to get me, it’s trying to get all of us. Everybody struggles and I have an entire floor of patients at the hospital to prove me that. Maybe the universe is just trying to make us exceptionally strong? Maybe we are just purifying from bad karma, getting the stuff out, to find the ultimate bliss?

I don’t know, but there is a lesson in this terrifying day. Shit happens… to me and to everybody else, but also really amazing things happen.

So maybe I should change my perspective from “why these horrible things happen to me?” to “what else could have happened, yet didn’t?”.

Maybe I should be thankful instead, or perhaps “thankful” is bit early to say, but not as disappointed?

So yeah, my ice-cream tub is empty, and the bed is calling. And thankfully tomorrow is a new day!!!  If you struggle with stuff too, than I hope you found some motivation in my story. If you like to leave a comment and share how you’ve found a silver lining in your difficulties, please do. We all need some inspiration.

Struggling with infertility is torture, and it’s much more tortures if you struggle alone, so talk, share and find support groups. There is millions of us struggling with the same problem, but everyone’s too scared to mention anything. When I started to tell people more openly about my worries with this matter, I noticed that there was seven other girls in my life that struggled with exact same problem. And six of them have had a IVF baby since. So there’s hope for all of us.

Stay positive and focus on the good! Peace out!



You are enough!

“I am perfectly imperfect” 

I’m sitting on my bed, eating ice-cream and scrolling down my Instagram account. So many stunning yogis in their most perfect poses. So many friends partying and eating most delicious food in most breathtaking places. I must admit I do feel little jealous. 

Why does comparison makes us feel insecure and incomplete?

Because we all have struggled with it all our lives, since that first art class in kindergarden to that moment where our colleague nailed that job we wanted.  

In a modern world where we are constantly pushed to be prettier, smarter and richer, it’s hard not to feel imperfect.

And it does happen to all of us, even to that super hot Instagram chick in her Ferrari. We all compare and we all get jealous. We are just humans. So what can we do to change? 


I often notice, that I compare myself to these amazing yogis that can stand on one hand for hours, and do all these things that are physically impossible to rest of us. But why do I do this to myself? Why don’t I ever compare myself to beginners, in a healthy way, and see how far I’ve gone? Or why do I even compare? I should be inspired and learn something from them, and most of all I should be proud of myself, I am gifted and unique. I should count my blessings and be happy that I can do so many things that I could not even dream about doing years ago. I seem to forget that these amazing yogis where once in exactly the same point, and if I have this burning fire inside of me, I can someday stand on one hand too…

So why do we compare the worst of us to the best of others? Cause we forget that even the best of the best have problems, weaknesses and trials in their lives. The images on the screen are not their real selves. Nobody ever posts pictures of their insecurities or themselves arguing or crying. We seem to get attached to this very angled image of someone and not even realise that we might be the person that actually has it better. 

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” -Michelangelo 

There is also another side to comparison. The one where we think we are better than others. This one is even harder to admit, but I do find that annoying feature in myself occasionally. Especially when I see a person that doesn’t recycle or is smoking, drinking and eating junk food like there’s no tomorrow. 

But who am I to judge? What do I know of their difficulties? What do I really know about that person? Have I already forgotten that I’ve struggled with change too? 

We all have felt hopeless and weak. We all have struggled with bad habits and felt bad about ourselves. There is enough critics in this world, so we must be more understanding and supportive, as we don’t know what it’s like for that person. 

“Look in the mirror… that’s your competition!”

Compare yourself to yourself!

We are work in process so drop that self-pity and be proud of yourself! By mocking your features, whether their your looks, ambitions, brains or fitness level, you end up breaking yourself. You must know that you are capable of anything, just be brave and grow your potentials.

“How can I be better then I was yesterday?”, that’s my mantra.

Ask yourself, what have you achieved in past year? What goals have you accomplished? Have you grown?

Be proud of yourself! Think of, what are the things that you get complimented on? Maybe you are an awesome home chef, or wonderful with kids, or a ray of sunshine?

We might not end up having that supermodel body or billion dollar bank account, but when we’re mindful, happy and confident, we have something so much better.

By appreciating the qualities you already have and being grateful, you’ll build a firm foundation to a healthy confidence. And maybe one day you’ll notice that there is no need to compare yourself with others or to be approved  by anyone, as you already are the best version of yourself.

There’s beautiful little metaphorical story about comparison that I love and must share:

When you were a child, your parents used to have you standing against the wall and make a little mark on the wall to measure your growth. They didn’t measure you against the neighbours kid or a kid on tv.

So when you measure your growth, make sure you only measure your today self by your past self. If you compare your success, relationship or your anything against anyone else, you’re not being fair to you. Everybody has a different path, different pace and different challenges to face along the way. 

So shine on with your day, feeling beautiful, happy and enough. 

And next time you find yourself envying someone’s accomplishments, go inwards and try to instead genuinely celebrate their good times. Turn that jealousy into drive and get inspire!



Go green! 

“We are the first generation to feel the impact of climate change, and the last generation that can do something about it.” 

Green is my favourite colour and my favourite way of life. “Recycle, reuse and reduce” is my one of my favourite mantras. 

Over-consuming and the garbage that comes with it is a huge problem in today’s world. And even when recycling has become a regular thing in our society, most people think that their effort is meaningless and won’t make any difference. But I’m a firm believer, that every dead can make a change. It all begins from oneself. So let’s not be lazy and selfish and let’s give our beautiful planet a change to bloom also for the next generations. Look outside, to our beautiful forests and beaches, then look into your child’s eyes. Wouldn’t you wish that their child’s have the opportunity to play on pristine beaches and run around in lush wilderness. We must relies, that the future of our human race depends on one thing… On changing the way we think.

So by making conscious choices, every single one of us can make a difference, keeping in mind that even the smallest effort has a huge consequences.

I consider myself as a regular hippie-minded, tree-hugging, eco-friendly person. Recycling-addict, eating organic, not using the air-con as long as it’s humanly possible, avoiding plastic bags by bringing my own canvas bags to grocery stores, etc. but I do get that eco-quilt quit often, as there is about thousand things that I should more, and there is a few important things that are on my “to-do-to-pamper-the-earth” list. 

Shopping wisely!

On average, we toss about 10 kilos of food a month, so by making meal plans, shopping lists and avoiding impulse buys, we are saving our money and wallet. 

Don’t buy products that use excessive packaging, especially individually packed items, as it creates a huge amount of waste, over a tonne per household in a year.

Having some meatless days, just to minimise our risk of cancer, heart disease and obesity. And also minimising the suffering of earth, as meat industry causes 20% of man made greenhouse gases. Think about this, not eating a half kilo of meat saves more water than not showering for six months. 

Try to choose the locally raised, organic meat, eggs and dairy whenever you can to support your local economy. 

Avoid bottled water, as it’s expensive and causes lots of container waste. Most of the plastic water bottles has BPA in them and according to studies, people with higher levels of exposure to it have an increased risk of diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular diseases. And by the way, lots of the water bottle companies use the public water sources, you guessed it, tap water. So don’t be fooled by them. Getting a water filter and a hip aluminium water bottle is the new black! 

When shopping for clothes, don’t be a victim of a fashion industry who needs a new collection of clothes for every season. If you’re a true fashionista, you are conscious and have a capability of finding something spectacular and different from vintage shops, second hand shops or even garage sales. Being different is hot right now and will always be!

Buy furnitures made from secondhand timber and check for the gumtree or other secondhand buy and sell websites. You might find the coolest stuff for absolute nothing, by gutting off the middle man.
Domestically green!

If you want to be one of the cool kids, then Recycle! Not only your everyday garbage, but also your electronics, your clothes, etc. Just by recycling your paper and carton will reduce waste at your junkyard by up to 27%. 

Be energy conscious and unplug your appliances, when your not using them. 

Wash clothes in cold water and always fill the washing machine up, to save energy.

Save water and shower together, or take shorter showers. The earth, your wallet and possibly your partner will thank you for it.

Go green on your beauty care by changing into natural products. I’m the biggest coconut oil addict, there’s nothing better for your skin and hair. The fat in coconut oil helps cut back the appearance of wrinkles, and leaves your skin feeling so soft and nourished. My Ayurveda doctor also recommended to moisture my dry joints with it.

It’s a wonderful product for after-sun treatment and awesome massage oil for a romantic evening with your loved one. Having your loved one massaging you, logically. 

Get outdoorsy!

Walk or bike. It’s great for your health and great for the environment. 

Another thing that I highly respect and try to do on my morning walks at the beach is picking up rubbish and taking it to trash, the purest Karma Yoga. It’s easy to think, “not my circus, not my monkeys” but wouldn’t you have that beautiful beach rather than the egoistic attitude when your old.

Share a ride or take a public transport. It gives you time to concentrate on yourself, while reading a book, writing a blog or even meditate and saves your nerves on a rush hour.

Keep the money in your community and support locally-owned businesses. Usually businesses like that are greener and also get their products from local farms and markets. They are more unique and the service is lovely and neighbourly. For example, in our little village, there’s a health cafe called Surf Shed, the coolest place on earth. I pick that over any Starbucks. 

Spread the word! 

Let people know about your green choices, be honest, open and inspiring. But don’t push it or be judgemental, just let them gently know what kind of an impact our choices have on the planet. Inform them and help them understand that these are our only resources and this is our only planet.

Let your green attitude shine in your community. Volunteer to help those in need, join in planting trees or neighbourhood clean-ups! 
Consume less!

Create less waste, as the junkyards are shrinking our beautiful planet. It’s easy to think, that we throw something away and it’s gone, out of sight and out of existence. But there is no such thing as “away”, the things sent to junkyards won’t decompose, they will never return to reusable shape. It’s so sad, it’s like a graveyard of our vanity. So just go for the long-lasting quality, “use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without,”

I hope you feel already a bit cleaner, as I’m going to wrap this this story up and head outside. It’s a sunny summer day, and the wilderness is shouting my name. It’s my time to hang with Mother Earth.

Hope you have a wonderful day celebrating the beauty of our planet.


Be your divine self!

I love great mythological stories of ancient goddesses. I think I got it from my father, as he adored roman mythology and named me after the goddess of woodlands, wild animals, moon and hunting, Diana. Considered that Diana was a virgin hunting goddess of childbirth, my father hit the note pretty far… As I’m against hunting, I don’t have kids and I’m definitely not a virgin.But there is something truly magical about ancient goddesses. 

Since I was a little girl I have been so inspired by the beauty of Aphrodite, the wisdom and strength of Athena, the nurturing Diana and majestic Hera. 

What is the essence of a goddess?

Goddess to me is someone who is big-hearted and never will she make others feel less than they are, instead she lifts them up. She is forgiving, and never judgmental. She is beautiful from inside and sees beauty in others, even though they wouldn’t see it themselves.

I think that the divine lies inside of us and all the beauty of goddesses is part of our true nature. So we should aim to use their qualities in our every day life.

There are some peoples in my life that have combined these divine qualities into their daily lives in most beautiful way. 

One of them is my beautiful mother. Her presence represents the quality of pure strength. She is the strongest woman I know. A rock to our family. A woman with a drive and with spectacular confidence in her experience. A true Viking woman. She has used the stones that life has thrown her to build a strong foundation and my admiration toward this quality is endless. 

An other divine feature in a woman is being a leader, and I must say, that I’m lucky enough to have the most amazing mother-in-law as she represents a true leader to me. She leads us towards happiness and inspires me on so many levels. She is someone that is elegant, softly spoken, and she actually speaks like the queen of England, or at least the way queen of England should speak! She’s someone who smiles sincerely and talks with kindness. She cares, and offers a shoulder to cry on. A true supporter and an encourager.

I feel so grateful to have such characters to guide me in my life.

How can I be more like Goddess in my relationship?

As the goddesses in all different cultures have shown us, we are the power that balances masculinity, we are the foundation to our husbands and families.

But to be a goddess, you must remember that you should never compete with your man, our power lies in our softness, and in our subtle way of effecting them behind the scenes. It’s our softness and intimacy that keeps melting their hearts.

We should never loose our femininity as that’s where the relationships starts to crack, the balance is gone when the partners forget that men are men and women are women. 

Don’t blame your man for not doing all these amazing things what he did, when you first met. He needs to be motivated to do these things, and the lack of motivation is something we can blame ourselves for. The biggest mistake we make is that we start to take others for granted. We rely to heavily on our man to make us happy, we become to needy and paranoid. And we are trying to stay in control by controlling our partners. Instead of being a psycho “What he does, where he goes, who’s he with?”, be supportive and nurturing, in a healthy way, not the creepy smothering way… Be the kind of a woman, that makes him feel he can accomplish anything!

There’s nothing better than movie nights while wearing your baggy overalls, cuddling on a sofa, but don’t forget to spoil him sometimes by wearing your sexiest dress, letting your hair down, spritzing on your favourite perfume and seducing him with passion and grace like on the night you first met him. 

I can remember my first date with my hubby like yesterday… I spent hours in front of the mirror getting ready for a date and had an anxiety attack every time his hand touched mine. So much fun! 


But of coarse no relationship is only dancing on sunflower pedals and even the sweetest couples fight. It’s ok, you fight and you learn something about that person. It’s also a way to practise forgiveness and acceptance and through making up learning to understand that your relationship is more important than your differences. But there is better ways to practise forgiveness than trying to start a fight by picking on our partners flaws.  

I must admit that I can be a little spicy sometimes, as I’m half Georgian, and have the temper of a jackal! 

And stingy things are said in anger, words we don’t mean and words that our partners definitely doesn’t deserve. So next time when you see red, hold back, count to ten, walk away and sync in with your core values and compassion.

I saw this documentary once, where a 80 year old Thai man was asked what’s his secret to 60 years of happy marriage, he replied that the talent of letting her wife be right, even though she isn’t. That’s sums it up pretty well…
“Be selective in your battles, for sometimes peace is better than being right”

Stay present! 

I used to work in a restaurant and I saw lots of couples on their dates. 

And it breaks my heart when I see a beautiful couple having a romantic dinner, scrolling down their phones, reading other people’s status updates and hardly saying anything to each other. For God’s sake… Put down the phone and look each other in the eyes! 

Even though you’ve been together for years, listen, react and stay present! Touch him, and show him that you are so lucky to be his partner. Put your whole heart into these moments, and make your spirit obvious. As your spirit is a crucial part of your appeal and it will always outshines your physical beauty. No matter how many extensions you have in your nails, eyelashes or boobs, physical beauty fades, but your spirit will always be there. And if you learn to use your your spirit right you can charm anyone. 

How to connect with our inner goddess? 

I find meditation to be the best way to get in contact with my inner goddess, to become peaceful, confident and better person. Even a 10 minute meditation per day can make a huge difference. 

So try this out:

Sit in a cross legged position or in the chair if it feels more comfortable. Find a peaceful place. 

With closed eyes and with your hands on your knees, clear your mind and take few deep breaths. Then start focusing on your breath. Breathing naturally, but noticing every inhale and exhale. If your mind starts to wonder, just bring it back to your breathing. Also focusing your mind on a mantra helps. So just repeat in your head a mantra, like ” I’m happy” or “Om”. 

Another nice one is open-eye meditation, where you place a meaningful object in front of you, preferably on your eye level, so you won’t strain your neck. It can be a candle, flower or a small divine photo or a statue and focus your gaze on it.

If your mind is busy and it’s hard to concentrate, try some awesome guided meditations on YouTube. You can set yourself a timer, as it is easy to loose the track of time. 
So that’s my little story for today, I hope you found some inspiration in it.

I’ll carry on and try my best to achieve some of the goddess like qualities. So I can be a better person, living authentically and honestly in purity, peace and charm.



Sense the Nature

In this world of reality TV, Facebook and high tech, we have seem to lost ourselves. We are as plugged to the system as our Apple products and the effect of all of these electromagnetic waves on our body might cause sleeping problems, depression and sickness. 

75 percent of our body is water and you probably know how well water and technology works together? Not well, and I speak from experience after several times dropping my phone into ocean. 
And the social media… It seems to be pointless to go for a walk on a beach without posting a pick on Instagram. And this is one is one of my downfalls, I’m overly visual person and a total photo-maniac! Since I was a little girl, I have loved pictures, capturing them and looking at them. People who know me, knows that I might be a little too enthusiastic. How many ” Arghh, not again!” have I heard my husband say when I pass him the camera…

Even though I love photography and my pics, it still slightly worries me, that I might be too fanatical about the “beauty of the moments”, and getting that “Click” on way to often. 

So I really need to start using my other senses among the visual sense, and maybe occasionally, use my inner camera instead of the one designed by Nikon. 
Among my other quirky features, I absolutely love nature! 
I would rather sit on a sand and gaze on ocean for several hours than watch that crap, that tv has to offer us. 

We actually just spent 3 days at my mates summer cottage watching at the sea. For hours and hours in absolute silence observing the beauty of scenery. No TV’s, phones or laptops. The people passing by with boats probably thought we were dead. 
The reason why we feel so in peace in nature is because this is where we originally came from. We have the same energy and that’s why I need to get to the nature, to remind myself that I’m part of this beautiful flow and something bigger. 


These are my own little reminders and tips, how to get more grounded, and connected with your senses, and at the same time heal your body and mind.

I’m not telling you have to go hug trees, even though, let me tell you this, that hugging a tree for half a minute can pack you with earthly energy and leave you feeling tranquil and breezy.

Starting with the sense of smell: 

Think, how often you actually realise what kind of air you breathe? What kind of smells are in the air, what memories the smells bring you? The salty sea air, the fresh air in a green lush forest or the smell of freshly cut grass. 

I’m so sentimental, that I can end up having the greatest day, after stepping outside in the morning and taking a lungful of fresh air after the rain has hydrated the earth or when I pass a lilac bush on a sunny spring morning. These are the smells that make my soul sing. It’s scientifically proven that sensory perception in nature eliminates the stress and I think thousands of years old aromatherapy is an excellent example of that. 

The sense of sight: 

Slow down and actually watch the nature, even stop if you have the time. Amaze the power of the ocean, look at the golden sun rays shining through the leaves or admire all the shades of blue at the sky. 

Sunsets are my favourite, and living on a west coast I’m blessed by the prettiest sunsets the nature has to offer. And there is no better way to enjoy the beauty of life than crabbing a blanket and the hand of your loved one, and head down to the beach and gaze on that greatest art show nature has to offer.

The sense of touch:

My ultimate pleasure is to walk on a beach with my legs down to my ankle in the water. I can walk for miles, and enjoy every step of it, with the waves gently stroking my feet… Even thinking of it, gives me butterflies in my belly. 

The touch of nature. The feeling when grass is tickles the souls of my feet while the sun warms my body. The support of a soft sand after a swim in an ocean. The feeling of raindrops on my skin. It is nearly impossible to not be connected to the earth in situations like these… It clears your head and gives you the ultimate zen.

The sense of hearing: 

Who wouldn’t love the sound of rain on a roof top, while snuggling under the covers? I can literally feel it washing away my troubles.

Give yourself a break from all the noise. The voice of traffic, music or talk.

Leave your earphones home, and sooth your senses with the singing of the birds, with the sound of the waves crashing and the roar of the wind in the tree tops. 

I know it sounds bit out of the content, but if you live in a city and you’re to busy to head out, a nice option is to listen some “nature sound” tracks on YouTube. It’s not the same, but it still has a calming impact on your stress levels.

The sense of taste:

Remember when you were a kid and you would run around forest tasting all the different plants and berries? If not, than I just found a reason for my tripping behaviour. 

Anyways, find your inner hunter and head to the nature to get a taste of it. What’s better way to shut our thoughts and stay present? 

Crab an apple or some berries and find out if their sour or not, or chew on a root of a hay. Go fishing, or go mushroom picking, than build a fire, safely, and cook yourself a dinner. In case if your a proper city person, try this version. Head to the farmers market, pick some veggies and berries, get a disposable grill, head to the park, and have a nice picnic.

So this are my thoughts for today. Remember that we are not designed to sit in the corner offices or zone out for hours in front of TV. The serene landscape picture on our screensaver just isn’t enough. So go to wilderness and go wild! 

Love life, love Mother Earth and disconnect everything but your heart and senses! 



Join me in a 3-Day Full Body Cleanse

“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison”
Summer, winter, spring or autumn, our body needs an occasional cleanse.
As we give our homes a proper spring clean every year, or as my husband would correct me – every day – cause I’m slightly obsessed with tidiness. But “clean home, clean mind” is one of my mantras.
Why shouldn’t we give ourselves a proper cleanse once in a while? No duster or vacuum-cleaner needed, just some willpower and lots of fluids.
Keep in my mind, it’s not a diet, even though you might loose a little weight. It’s so much more. It will bring you clarity of mind and give you a jump-start to a healthy lifestyle. No wonder fasting was the rituals of great man like Gandhi, Socrates and Plato.
If you suffer from headaches, sugar cravings, skin or digestion problems, bloating or anxiety, the case is that you might suffer from build-up of toxicity. After your 3-day cleanse your body feels energised, rejuvenated and grateful for the rest from digestion as your organs haven’t been breaking down food and possible toxins.
Just a little warning here, do not detox if your pregnant or breast feeding.
First of all, choose a time for your cleanse, try to pick a weekend or days that don’t have lots of program or parties in them. Plan a daily schedule, plan your “meals” and ditch all the things that you grave. For me these would be caffeine, pasta and cupcakes.
Next 3 days prepare to go organic (if you’re already not). Say “bye bye” to meat, grains, sugar, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, saturated fats and welcome to your life all the amazing, funky-tasting, super juices and smoothies. And by juices I don’t mean the dodgy, chemically sweetened stuff in the cardboard boxes.
It’s only 3 days, so go all the way. Explore the amazing world of juices, teas and all different type of organically flavoured waters.
Here’s mine daily routines, that I would highly recommend for the time of cleanse:
Mornings are my favourite part of day, and here’s my morning rituals that I recommend to stuck with on your body cleanse… And why not after.
Start your morning ALWAYS with a lemon water. A glass of warm water with half of lemon! It’s a magic drink that speeds up your digestion, it’s packed with antioxidants, it’s an excellent source of vitamin C, it flushes the toxins and strengthens the liver. These are only the few benefits of lemon water…
Meditate! Stress loves to ruin our body and mind, and the best way to reduce the stress is to get your Om on!
Rock your mental health and get rid off anxiety and tension. Meditation is like the detox for your mind and I bet you will fall in love with the benefits of mediation and your new mellow lifestyle.
Find a nice calm spot, close your eyes, choose a mantra that you repeat to yourself or not. Main thing is to shut the monkey mind for 5 minutes or longer if you’re a “pro-meditator” an breathe.
Brush your skin!  Skin brushing is the best way to detoxify your skin from dead cells, reduce cellulite and support circulation. Have a shower after that, and finish the shower with a half minute cold water shower, it will work wonders on your blood circulation. Moisturise your body with coconut oil, that hydrates your skin, leaving it feeling nourished and smooth. Coconut oil also protects your skin from harmful sun rays. I’m an absolute addict for coconut oil. My Ayurvedic doctor in India recommended it for my dry joints and I haven’t found a better remedy yet.
Open your body with a nice series of sun salutations!
5 sun salutations will cost you no time, but gives you energy, detoxifies you and opens your heart for a new day!
Here’s a guided video for sun salutation:
For next 3 days stay away from solid food,
Drink, drink, drink! Try to drink 3 litres of liquids daily. My best trick to remember how much to drink water daily, is to drink a litre for 20 kilos of your body weight.
If the regular water starts to annoy you, make it special by adding herbs, lime, watermelon, etc. My absolute favourite is basilica and cucumber or mint water.
Swap your coffee to a green tea or to a nice cleansing dandelion or echinacea tea. As an absolute tea-addict, I’m more than overwhelmed with happiness, that the options on tea market are so enormous. My absolute favourite is Matcha Green Tea, one cup is the same as 30 cups of normal green tea in antioxidants. Also I’m addicted to organic green rooibos tea, that is backed with vitamins, high in minerals and contains huge array of antioxidants.
Juicing offers some incredible health benefits and it’s great way to get all the vegetables and fruits to your diet.
After noticing how much money I spend on fresh juices, I had to get a juicer myself. I love it! Nothing better than starting a day with a refreshing ginger-carrot-orange juice! Yummy!
Exercise! It makes you feel awesome and it starts a natural detoxification process in your body. It’s good to take it a bit slower while your detoxing, as you don’t have that much energy. I’ve made myself a fitness routine for the time of cleanse, and it’s pretty much something like this:
Before the breakfast 5 sun salutations and some cardio to sweat out the toxins, anything that gets that heart rate up, from jumping jacks, to running up the stairs. A walk in a fresh air with my doggy and in the evening a relaxing one hour yoga session.
While practising yoga, try to do as much twist as possible, as they are excellent poses when it comes to getting those toxins moving.
When you’re tired you don’t take proper care of yourself, so get at least 7 hour sleep every night. Don’t think of a good night sleep as a luxury, but rather as a necessity. If  possible, go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 6 am. That way you are synced with universe and you feel way energetic and better. For me that’s a mission, as I’m pretty sure I was a bat in my previous life. I have a slightly messed up rhythm.
And my favourite part of all this detox insanity… have a massage! It’s the best way to get those toxins moving, but remember to flush them out with plenty of water after your pampering session.
Here’s some of my favourite detoxing juices, but feel free to mix your own:
Juice 1: beetroot, kale, apple, ginger, celery, lemon
Juice 2: spinach, green apple, pear, cucumber, kale
Juice 3: orange, carrot, ginger,
Juice 4: grapefruit, raspberries mint
Juice 5: cucumber, pineapple, lemon, coconut water
If possible, try to use organic fruits and vegetables and remember the thumb rule, if you eat the outside or the peel of the fruit or veggie, go with organic. For example, apples, strawberries, tomatoes, capsicum.
Whenever you feel like you want to chew your arm off, don’t! Have a refreshing lemon water, coconut water or wheat crass shot instead. I can promise you that the shot will taste a little peculiar, but it’s definitely better than a life with a half chewed limb…
And trust me, if you stick with this, after 3 days you will thank yourself.
When you’re done with your full body cleanse, give yourself a nice tap on back and if possible don’t go back to ruin that beautiful body of yours with all the chemically loaded foods and soft drinks. Every single time you eat, you get to choose, will you hurt your body or you nourish your body. Try to stay as organic as possible and pamper your organs on every meal with these lovely super-foods like salmon, avocado, nuts, spinach, blueberries, etc. the list goes on forever. Remember, that you don’t have to eat less, you just need to eat right.
Try to give up sugar and flour, as they are packed with toxins and are extremely harmful for you. I know it’s hard, as I could basically live on pasta and pizza… But I must say that I also love brown rice and at the moment I’m absolutely addicted to organic gluten free or wholemeal spelt spaghetti.
I must say that I do enjoy a juicy steak on my wedding anniversary or the most delicious reindeer steak made by my good friend, but I try to avoid meat as much as all the diseases that it exposures my body to. It doesn’t contain any vitamins or minerals, and no wonder vegetarians visits hospitals 22% less then the meat eaters. So try to avoid meat, if it’s not possible to go totally vegetarian, stick with fish and skinless chicken. And if that’s to hard, cut down the meat eating into 3 times a week.
Also, try to avoid the excessive use of caffeine and alcohol. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy a drink, or a two, or a five occasionally, but having a drink every night of a week will build up those toxins in your body pretty fast.
And last but not least, stay away from the packaged foods. Even if it says “weight watchers” on top, doesn’t mean it’s healthy. If it’s in package, it’s filled with some sort of chemicals or preservatives.
If possible, try to make the “full body cleanse” part of your life. Once a month, when you know you’re gonna stay at home and have nothing to do, instead of charging to McDonald’s drive-in, take a step to become healthier, fitter and stronger you.
I wish you the most beautiful, refreshing and cleansing days, whether you decide to carry on with this or not.